Friday, August 22, 2008

The Dress, and a few other things

So, here's the dress for Missy's wedding! I think it's beautiful, and it is SO comfortable. It will be that color, too (it's officially called 'apple'). The wedding is in November, and the colors are black, white, silver and red. It's going to be very elegant.

Ok, now onto the 'few other things'. Really, it's just one thing. And it sort of ties into the dress choice.

Ready for it?

You sure you're ready?

Absolutely sure?

We're pregnant!

Are you as shocked as we were/are? I'm sure. We've had a really hard time coming to grips with the pregnancy, because the adoption is on hold until the baby is 6 months old. It's not that we don't want this baby (we do, of COURSE) but we felt so strongly that God was calling us toward adoption that we have been very confused as to the newest development! In the interest of sharing, but not over sharing, I will just say that we were using three different forms of birth control RELIGIOUSLY, so this baby is a miracle and a gift. My due date is March 5th, which is my birthday. After we realized that, there was no denying that this baby is a GIFT from God.

After praying and praying over this, we have come to a peace about the adoption. We really believe that Elliana was supposed to be our daughter. Everything came together in such a way that it was evident to us that God was orchestrating it. However, God has given all of us free will, and the birthmom chose to keep her baby, against every one's better judgement. If she wasn't supposed to be ours, then we believe that there would be another baby out there that was supposed to be ours. Instead, right after the adoption fell through we found out we were pregnant. That was a very clear indicator to us that the adoption process was to be put on hold for at least a year (you can continue after the baby is 6 months old).

We still feel that adoption is part of our future. We are tentatively planning on doing an international adoption in a couple of years, after Mark is out of the Navy and in a stable job situation. Because of my love for Latino/a people, culture, history, etc, I think we will pursue Colombian adoption, or, if Guatemala is open again, we may pursue that. However, for now, we are focusing on Tate and "Sam", who is in it's 12th week of gestation.

We aren't going to find out the baby's gender until it's born. I think it's going to be easier to convince me to go through labor again this way!

It's been a joy to share our big news with you, but please, don't think that this pregnancy takes away our pain from losing Elliana. The hardest part of this has been feeling the loss of one baby, and feeling guilty over not feeling joy over the pregnancy because of the grief of our loss. We're doing better now, but one doesn't replace the other!

To tie the dress in, there's a bunch of room so my 5.5 month pregnant belly will fit in the bridesmaid dress :)

Ok, Love to you all.
Jenni and "Sam"


uncpdeb said...

YAY!!! I just told Adam and he and I are both thrilled!!!! I can't wait to find out what you're having

Alibear said...

It's all coming together. He was preparing you for this path and you didn't even know it. You helped another mom and hopefully guided her and the new baby down the right path. Now you have time to enjoy the entire process in preparation for Sam's arrival.

I'm so excited for your whole family!