Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Mean Girls

As I've mentioned before, I'm doing a Bible Study on Esther.  I liked the first two weeks, but I didn't really feel like they hit home.  Last week concentrated on physical beauty (as well as other things) but I don't really struggle with this.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm a natural beauty, I know very well what I am and what I am not-and unfortunately the words "beautiful" and "great complexion" will never be used to describe me.

What I am saying is that I've never really been that caught up in looks.  My last two years of high school, I wore sweats and a sports bra (under my baggy tee shirts-not just a sports bra) to school every Friday...and no make up.  Trust me, my complexion was a LOT worse then.  It wasn't that I was trying to prove a point, it was that I just didn't care.  I knew what was important to me, and I knew who I was.  I wasn't trying to impress anyone with my looks because that's not what is great about me.   I have known that from a young age and I am very secure in that.

This week's study, though, hit me right here. 

Yes, right in the middle of my poorly complexioned face (is that even a word?  Complexioned?)  And don't click on the picture.  Trust me, just don't.  You don't need to count my pores.

This week's topic was on meanness. 

Yes, it was on mean girls. 

Typically I consider myself a pretty nice girl, but there are times that I am just down right nasty.  One of the points that Mrs. Moore made was that meanness always has a history, a root.  Sometimes we just respond to things in a way that is so awful that it blows our mind.  We get done reacting and then think, "Whoa, I don't know who that freak show was back there, but she was definately NOT who I want to be.  Is that ugliness really inside of me?"

So this week I'm going to be focused on the root of my meanness.  When I'm mean, why am I that way?  What insecurity triggers this response?   Romans talks about how stupid it is to compare ourselves to one another, so that's the first thing to go, for sure.   I was created in God's beautiful image...not in the image of someone else who was created in his image.  I'm still an "originial" copy (oxymoron, I know) but hear me out.  I'm not a copy that's been copied so many times that I'm losing my integrity.  I'm the direct likeness of the all powerful God who formed me.  If I try and be someone else, I will fail at being the crazy lady I was created to be.

So I don't need to be insecure when someone questions my beliefs, my priorities, my attitude, my abilities, my ideals, my ideas, my intellect, my physical abilities-NONE of it.

I'm just me.

I'm the me that God created, and I'm OK with that.

Peace and Love,