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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Honestly...


I haven't shared much about our trip here or on Facebook.  Intentionally. 

There are a lot of feelings that I'm sorting through.  I did a really great job of journaling this time and I am reading through that, looking at pictures and thinking. 

There's a lot to sort through.  This was our first time with the girls living with us.  I knew going into it that it would be hard, but it was even harder than expected.  

There were expectations that the girls had about how families work that aren't healthy or true.  

There were attitudes to be dealt with.  (Theirs and mine). 

There were boundaries to be set. 

There were new experiences to have, together.  First boat rides, first hotel stays and first hot showers. 

And it was incredibly difficult being the "one" parent that speaks their language.  When they were nasty to each other I could tell, so I got to had to discipline.  This means that I got to bear the brunt of their big feelings of anger, frustration and fear as they are learning about being a part of a family.  

LT Wonderful and I are more convinced than ever that he needs to learn Spanish.  I cannot be the only target for their frustration.  I cannot do this by myself.  We have to be a team, especially since the playing field is already stacked against us.  

So we're home now, with new resolve.  We are going to read everything we can get our hands on about attachment parenting and healing.  And LT Wonderful is working his behind off to learn Spanish.  Because we're in this together.  

And even with all of that stuff we were dealing with, we really did have a great time.  We really do love the girls, and the more boundaries were set, the more secure the girls felt.  The more secure we all felt.  It's just hard...we aren't their parents yet, but we are their caretakers when we are there.   It's a weird dynamic. 

So we're learning and preparing our hearts and minds for when the Lord decides to bring us together, and we're infinitely thankful that we have this time to figure it out before being thrown into having preteen girls.  There is nothing as complicated as a preteen/early teenaged girl (I know, I was one).  

Pray for us, pretty please?


3 comments:

Cadovius said...

I am praying right along side of yall. This transition I imagine is one that will take years but I am so thankful the Lord sent you and Mark to those precious girls. Their lives will forever be changed! I love you, Jenni

Britney said...

You are such a brave woman. i could never muster the strength to do what you do. i will be praying for you.

Michelle said...

Hi I have really enjoyed reading your blog on your adoption. I found it by googling adoption and Nicaragua. We are also in process to adopt from Nica and would love to touch base with you. It has been hard to find many who have adopted from this beautiful Country. Let me know if you would like to get in touch. Thanks so much,
Michelle