Thursday, October 6, 2011

We Are All Missing Them

I am often surprised by my kids' ability to remember.  I don't know why I'm so surprised, because I've got a pretty good memory myself.  Nowhere near what it used to be, but it's pretty good.  The thing that surprises me most is when they remember something so clearly, but it's just a snippet of what happened.  For example, we had a family movie night a few months ago.  The intro to the movie had the graphic of the little boy resting on the moon fishing.  I didn't think anything of it until a couple of weeks ago when Tate asked to watch the movie with the little boy fishing on the moon again.  It took me a few days to figure out what he was talking about but I finally did.  Those are details I would have remembered when I was younger, but they are lost on me now. 

One of the drawbacks of having such a good memory is that the pain of missing loved ones is intensified.  I've seen this in Tate many times with people (and random animals...don't get me started on the goat story).  He's very compassionate and loving, and sincerely misses his hermanos that live in Nicaragua.  He's been asking about them a lot recently.  Asking when we can see them, when we get to move to live close to them and play with them all day.  He loves looking at pictures of them but feels shy talking on the phone with them (and I don't blame him.  Phone conversations are hard enough without a language barrier). 

So today I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I made signs with what the boys wanted me to say "To our brothers in the Posada, we love you and miss you a lot!".  I took a picture and posted it on Facebook so that their hermanos can see it.  I know it's not much, but it made Tate feel like he was getting to express himself a little bit.  

And, just for fun, the latest thing he's attached himself to is our house in Virginia.  He's been saying over and over again that he misses "Spencer and what's his name again?" (It's Trey, BTW) and really misses our house in Virginia even though we didn't have a lot of toys when we lived there because he was just a baby.  (FYI, Tate hasn't seen Spence or Trey other than on webcam in almost 5 years.  But he still misses them).   He's sad that we don't live there and wants to move back.  When I explain that we would miss all the people that live here he just about collapses in despair.  

He's also sad that we don't live in Minnesota (don't get me going). 

And Grandma and Grandpa and Nana and Papa?  Oh my.  There are tears almost daily about how much he misses them. 

Just the other day he said something along the lines of, "Mom, it's so hard because I like so many people and I just never get to see them all as much as I want to!"

I agree with him.  It's hard to keep your heart open and ready for love when you know it's going to hurt to leave.  

But I've found that it's worth it, and I hope that someday he learns that, too. 


Miriam Porter said...

This kind of reminds me of Esther she used to cry everytime she left someones house or people were leaving her house and through her tears she would say "I just love them so much". I know how she feels. Tate is a sweet boy! Love you guys

Kara said...

Oh, Tate! I miss you and Theo every day. Auntie Kara thinks of you all daily, and sends long distance hugs!